Foolishly Epic

Tue, 20 Dec 2005 11:36:21 GMT

Mood: Appathetic.

no, no no.

Mood: Fookin Happy.

<3

I am an emo kid, and todays word is Am.

:)

Ponder

Mon, 13 Jun 2005 12:58:55 GMT

Chase the world,

Anyone can achieve anything, and that's what in itself makes everything to nothing so valuable, both to everyone and no one.

After all what does it take to be no one?

"If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see?"

Maybe by listening to me and going out, you would then think you would have thought you understood what you thought i said, but that you didn't understand what I was thinking, and therefore what i thought I had said, or meant to of said.

It's more too many questions, but then again really too many answers and all with as much of an infinite choice of proof as well as contradictions.

A bird and a fish, if they were to wed, where would they live?

Maybe if they think about that now, they can change it for later?

What is more valuable a star, or you? from where do you look, if a star could see, would it pay attention to you? What has more power? you or a star? and why is power so valuable? If knowledge is power, and Ignorance is bliss, can you be Ignorantly knowledgeable?

Power:
The ability or capacity to perform or act effectively.

Second Law of Thermodynamics
The most fundamental of all natural laws: "everything tends to chaos". Energy is consumed when temperature is raised.

More the question is chaos to Bliss as Order is to Power.

Maybe that can answer everything, and nothing all at once?

Who am I to judge?

I hope none of this is answered, so that I can leave the world with just as much Bliss.

How would it feel to find proof of god? Or to know who next will be god?

Well.....

Sun, 05 Jun 2005 10:11:44 GMT

Yes, and yep? yes.

Life is crazy up and down.

I only know this as its....

4 weeks till license back!

And the winter feeling has a wierd smell.

Been offered a 1981 Fairlane from Rob the guy who i got my job from as he lost his license for 2 years and left to NZ, hes brother is driving it till december (hes a mechanic) until the rego falls then hes giving it to me.

Yeah...

I wonder who reads this anyway.

:)

Another Update to life...

Mon, 30 May 2005 11:34:18 GMT

I got there,

I sat around,

Me and Cho took photos of random people.

I wore my skirt and my hat.

I met a girl who worked at Electronics Boutique (I know, girl?! there?! surely not)

Dave was sooo sexy.

Foo Fighters are just, so, damn, my... o my?

To end, and capture the essence of the day? well in truth, and I will deny all of this, I cried. :) it was incredible.

Well...

Tue, 24 May 2005 13:42:20 GMT

A couple of photos... your your amusement.

Here I am doing the cliche "I know where you live, heres johnny" style.

Then trying to make the fact I own a Darth Vader helmet a cool thing.

Slap me later.

My impression of a French Terrorist.

Bonjoro, Jemappel Shzoel, I Do noot care, for I am French. Je Sui Annana, hmmf. Le Baton.

Another post of Life

Tue, 24 May 2005 10:03:39 GMT

Short and sweet people.

- $312 towards star city this thursday, to win money to by an SG and fly my kingdom to freedom. i need to win 388 bucks / leave with at least 600 bucks that night.

- Next law journal done, it took? (note to self: took?) ages.

- My mum said i play guitar pretty and that if no one ever hires me she will hire me as long as I wear a sumbrero and act spanish.

- My dad said im too spanish, and said i should act less sumbrero, to which i questioned where indeed i got my sanity from.

Ok, that raps it up.

Blades of steel.

Remember that.

Tune in next week for...

*anti-gunshot*

Exuent.

So drink that shampagne dream

Sat, 21 May 2005 03:38:07 GMT

This is really odd, but I'm not going to explain it.

I miss you all, if you ever read this thats more than I could ever hope from anyone I'll ever meet.

I've been so distant lately, constantly moving, but I had a shimmer today.

I've been sick lately with alot of things including my good old fashioned fever (fevor?) dreams which left me breathless as for about 2-3 minutes vikings (or men of the norse variety, so hard to tell) ran through my room breaking my windows and attacking guys in my street.

I miss the good old days, of November, when HSC was freshly slain, when I had so much done, to do and that which would never be, I miss alot of you, from Steven the guy I've never met who I used to Romp on UO ;) to that guy who played his sax with me when I was playing my harmonica, everything lately has stopped being fun, don't get me wrong things are great, but I'm letting alot slip away.

And so basically I wanted to say, if this means anything to anyone reading, anyone I've tlaked to less and less lately I am sorry, and I haven't forgot about you, and I will (after this semester thingy and license back) make a point of seeing you all again for old times sake and more.

Sorry this entry made so much sense as apposed to my usual.

:)

Dress

Tue, 10 May 2005 12:08:25 GMT

A crazy weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek?

Sat, 07 May 2005 06:58:55 GMT

Summary (How I love this)

Well no not a summary, but don't correct me.

Ok, a full setence for a bit, right.... > here.

I got my money, all $423 in my bank, I then spent it on the train fine (no valid ticket)

I got heavily tanked to the point where your teeth feel hairy.

I don't remember between a bit of now and then but hey?

Oh, ok, John McKelvey is a guy from Aim, now on youthfest I got a piece of paper for a shop called "aftertaste" and I found it the morning my friend John told me about his friends shop he owns in newtown called aftetaste... so I went hmm I know that name, so anyway that afternoon going to newtown (thursday) with Cho and Karma and Dan (your famous now) We went to used and abused to buy myself some pants to go to the greenwood with Emily aka Mummy (deep breath) after finding my ([[[AMAZING THING FROM A SHOP]]] *read in small print below) the girl behind the counter said something about dont say something to aftertaste next door, to which i said, aftetaste? and looked up, yep there it was right of left of me.

So I went in and told the guys all this showing them my ([[[AMAZING THING FROM A SHOP]]] *read in small print below) and then I, then they, yeah Karma and Cho left, and I walked to meet a girl called Emma ? at Sydney uni where Dan had run off to. To which I realised the purchases of the week or two and then realised my $5 fund.

(HOW IS THAT FOR JOEL's MEMORY, you said I wouldn't remember even a bit of the day, well take that biatch)

Ok

Purchases Include:

2 Berras (hat thingys) one for me, one for a dude i think is called Dave from AIM.
2 x 3.95

2 Balaclavas
2 x 2.95

Kilt Pins x 6
6 x $1

Credit
$30

$200 fine

Alcohol sadly tackled me down, i tried to run, but it was too fast. and then Dan and dan? dan? dan.... dan!?

dan?

([[[AMAZING THING FROM A SHOP]]] *read in small print below)

IS!!!

>>>>

A Tartan dress, yes a dress (what a build up)

for $15

then ummm

ok the booze

Cant waver

from my thoughts\

Three red of yellow Borrowed
Slightly falling behind yet ahead
beware.

take that, poetry.

Update

Tue, 26 Apr 2005 09:44:26 GMT

STOP TALKING TO ME, please? God? Please, what have I done, whats with the voices everywhere, I need moments to think.

Why do people have to talk such crap to ME, I TALK CRAP! no one else, Joel = Crap Talker Professional, why must I hear such childish, in original crap. why why why why why why why? ... why?

- Joels Rant Over -

Life is crazy

Sat, 23 Apr 2005 13:22:24 GMT

Life is confusing and wierd, the very essence of what I hunt never fulfils the part of me which I try to fill.

Casuality of Cryptic messages.

Broke thoughts I'm now used to capturing letter by letter.

I had a dream of my cousins last night where again I drive a car I cant control and the handbrake doesn't work.

I'm going to move out of home asap.

I want rock-ed to work, I want people on it so i can build a world that exists against the normal rules of music.

A place where sniffer dogs don't exist at venues, where everyone can be free for anything they want.

This will be a magic place for misfits, junkies, music lovers, try hards and even the occasional normal person.

Not enough sleep, too much coke and diet coke and sugar and food and all this other crap placed inside my body.

Again they don't have my kilt in stock.

I decorated my pants.

I'm prey to Jeezy Creezy, buddah, God and all the rest for many a thing.

Tell me winston, and remember no lies, what are your true feelings towards big brother.

room 101.

going mad.

$200 fine for not having a train ticket.

I feel the need to start a riot.

I don't want to ever be seen as violent in my life.

I don't want to eat meat ever again.

I want to be connected one step closer to small triumphs over meaningless good deeds.

I want aliens to come down to earth instead of taunting buzz.

I want a miracle, something spiritual.

I want to see music again through the air..

I want so many things that are not what you can give to me you are so wierd word by word we are all part of another "system" we can blame for all our problems i blame it on music and also claim that music is the only thing keeping me sane in this world. Don't cry emo girl.

Heavy Riff, 3 chord progression lets all get jumpy, How cool was riff raff and where did he go, or more importantly why did I leave him behind?

That was all written in timing to Muse - New Born

On each kinda sweep.

Where, Am, That, Stage, back, Then, run, away, thats, what, I, said, now, I, still, dont, want, where, i, was, back.

Take all this as you will.

Maybe i just want to be crazy I mean it means i can claim to be special, different, a minority, something to envy? why envy insanity I wish I didn't need to always want something new to play with, another toy that I can break. Nice analogy, the crowd goes wild!
3,2,1 touchdown.

Where is this whole post going I should stop, but i really dont want to.

Maybe I have a strong mind and convince myself of anything, or maybe my mind is so weak I can't see through any of the haze of "thoughts" I think I want to be normal, but normal sucks, then when I'm not normal, where can I go? I don't want to be an actor, I don't want to be fake, but that leaves me to running around as a cliche tophat wearing man who by all rights should of been shot many moons above yesterday.

must stop.

Sun, 03 Apr 2005 09:52:40 GMT

You scored as Stabbed. You will die from being stabbed. Go figure.

</td>

Accident

100%

Stabbed

100%

Posion

80%

Disappear

67%

Gunshot

47%

Natural Causes

47%

Suicide

33%

Eaten

33%

Bomb

33%

Disease

27%

Suffocated

13%

Drowning

13%

Cut Throat

How Will You Die??
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Punk Ass Kid. You punk ass kid! Better be careful, soon enough one of those old ladies will have a rifle aimed at your head.

</td>

Punk Ass Kid

75%

Loner

50%

Loser

25%

Art Freak

25%

Cheerleader/Jock

Nerd

What's You're Sterotype?
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Eating Disorders. Congratulations! You have an eating disorder! You know what it's like to have "fat" eyelids and that there's exactly 58 calories in one medium-sized green apple. Western society has discarded your well-being for sickly, paper-thin models and celebrities; welcome to the club, sister.

</td>

Eating Disorders

100%

Antisocial Personality Disorder

67%

Borderline Personality Disorder

67%

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder

33%

Schizophrenia

Unipolar Depression

Which mental disorder do you have?
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Goofy. Your alter ego is Goofy! You are fun and great to be around, and you are always willing to help others. You arn't worried about embarrassing yourself, so you are one who is more willing to try new things.

</td>

The Beast

100%

Goofy

100%

Donald Duck

75%

Peter Pan

75%

Cruella De Ville

75%

Ariel

50%

Cinderella

50%

Sleeping Beauty

31%

Pinocchio

25%

Snow White

25%

Which Disney Character is your Alter Ego?
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Drug-Induced. You've got drug-induced confusion... you've fried your brain with too much cocaine.. lost all common sense with too much incense.

</td>

Drug-Induced

100%

Mental Confusion

100%

Clarity

83%

Poser Confusion

33%

Brain Washed

33%

What Kind of Confusion Do You Have?
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Hedonism. Your life is guided by the principles of Hedonism: You believe that pleasure is a great, or the greatest, good; and you try to enjoy life’s pleasures as much as you can.

“Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we die!”

More info at Arocoun's Wikipedia User Page...

</td>

Utilitarianism

100%

Hedonism

100%

Existentialism

100%

Nihilism

75%

Justice (Fairness)

75%

Kantianism

50%

Strong Egoism

50%

Apathy

25%

Divine Command

What philosophy do you follow? (v1.03)
created with QuizFarm.com

It begins

Thu, 31 Mar 2005 05:30:15 GMT

Raining of days.

This was writting to the song Muse - New Born.

We need to build a jungle. And find a farmer and his wife correct?
Ponder if you will this next sentence.

Armed with an armoured Trojan, Rise up against morality to fulfil the dream of many a day time tired tyrant of silence and contemplation.

If anyone can correctly interpret what was going through my head... you get everything I own.

And so my mood changes. Muse - Megalomania...

The next step in my moment of thought.

These broken lines surely annoy someone?

But I like them, I take comfort in them.

They stop you from looking back eh?

Vake up eddie... vake up.

End it all with Metallica - battery.

Stir and serve.

Tue, 29 Mar 2005 08:27:04 GMT

If I did a post every day.

It wouldn't be as special now would it?

Now a weekend with Leah and Alex can mean only one thing.

Cider, Trench coats, ugh boots, Alice in wonderland, beetaljeus.

Sometime between the begining and the end, i ate too much and drank too much.

Now I am back home...

Eddie Izzard is my new cross dressing god.

"Thank you for flying Church of England, cake or death?"

May I cry in laughter for the next period of time + 1.

Steven is going to some place in australia other than here.

This is a dedication to my great friend whom shall live and breath for many times past now.

As well as a shout out to mr IVE GOT MONEY who I love, very much.

Where is the depth you ask? try a drain or old fashioned well.

So your sick

Fri, 18 Mar 2005 01:59:55 GMT

Yes that's right.

Again, it's happened.

God rolled over in the morning and went hey why not lets groin kick that kid right there on earth with another sickness and watch him.

Well I had a fever dream 2 days ago.

I lay in my bed paralyzed as my muscles due to a fever of 38.6 degrees had left them useless.

I pictured a type of wild dog that
would bring me on a spiritual journey, but alas, only my ceiling fan talked to me.

In truth, I learnt alot about myself that night, about death believing I would die that very night and likewise how night is just so... like night.

So anyway.

I was all like yeah whatever fan you don't know me. But it had some valid points.

Namely, I need to drink wine...

That was a good point it made.

But then umm something about life and fulfillment but I kinda zoned out.

So the moral of the story was, I have a keyboard now!

But I also learnt life is meaningful, death exists only as another stage, one you cannot prepare for but likewise one that everyone is already equip for. Lines and patterns exists in the air that connect you to every moment of memory,

infinitely small yet they cannot be destroyed by anyone but yourself. Time exists only to categorize events to their respective importance. And I need a coffee.

The Challenge.

Sun, 13 Mar 2005 05:46:49 GMT

The Challenge.
Here it begins. Through the years Ive done things I'm not proud of, drunk things I shouldnt of drunk.

Such Highlights include:

snorting vodka at my 18th.

Drinking a beers dregs with 2 butts in it.

Playing a 3 vs 1 drinking game (last night) woah that went well....

Absinthe and bbq sauce shots.

A panadol thingy (the one with Codeine) in shots.

Trying to snort an entire stubby of VB.

Madam Dartaniono (Love Child of Mr Sexy Lexy aka Alex Zablotskii and I) and the christening of my dear beer bong multiple times.

The time we tried to prove that there are 24 beers in a case because there are 24 hours in a day and ended up doing the first 14 hours in about 2... the rest was history, peace out there to my good friends from byron bay of 2003.

Trying to get my lip and ear pierced while drunk with a staple and a needle.

Marrying 8 Women. (I can't remember who there was besides Evette and Jacqui [sorry])

Waking up without pants or my trench coat, wearing Grinch boxer shorts at a bus stop with my mobile locked out.

Waking up at the skate bowl with only 1 hour till McDonald's opens its doors realising I'm wearing someone Else's pants which are lacking my wallet...

Making speech's at 5 different 18th's (3 of whom the hosts I did not know)

Getting Drunk/Arriving Drunk at/in:
School bathrooms, The Jewish version of a church, at a funeral (drunk before I went in...), The prize giving of year 12 and yrs 9 and 10, at McDonald's in the freezer, While driving to a party (I wasn't DRUNK while driving... just drinking), In a closet I was locked in for 4 hours, for an HSC exam, for all my School Cert Exams, riding a bike from gordon station to my house (1 hour walking time)

So ahem... *sniff* memories...

And so, I stake my challenge, I am going to try and go Sober/Straight Edge/Not Drunk/Anti drunk if you will...

This is going to take all my dedication originally kept for emergencies such as speaking and breathing.

Signing off SOBER at 4:46pm 13th of march, 2005.

Ow

Sat, 12 Mar 2005 01:23:08 GMT

Last night hurt.

My head hurts, I think my Liver is there.

Note to self:
Drinking is Stupid.

Time to stop talking dribble, broken thoughts here I'm sorry.

Last night Cho was funny, the girl with the british accent was mysteriously obscure in that I fear for nightime assassination attempts from the repulic of britain.

The forest way boy who said in his nicest accented pronunciation "Fuck you" truly inspired me for this post.

God bless.

I wonder if anyone reads this thing...

Makes you wonder.

I tried to ride a motorbike last night if that helps.

I also had an urge to chase a car that decided to park.

I lost my byron bay bracelet.

I smell like Ralph by Ralph which reminds me of death and chocolate lipstick.

Had I gone mad? surely, some type of crazy man had taken hold of this situation, where was I to begin?

My guitar strings died sad

Fri, 11 Mar 2005 06:20:21 GMT

My top E and B strings both came to an untimely end.

The case is still open and suspects are being collected but yet still they lay dead, discarded in a pile of other items in my bedroom.

But!

Life does go on, new strings (Sherill and Robbert) have replaced the old strings positions in the Guitar Pty Ltd Company.

This just in, the new name for my Guitar (I believe it is the second or third) is...

*drum roll*

Le Fleur.

French, for The Flower.

Tremble at its mighty power!

Today was a day

Thu, 10 Mar 2005 06:56:33 GMT

Liver kills braincells? bout time.

AIM

Wed, 09 Mar 2005 10:23:07 GMT

AIM is hawcaw + 1.

2500 - 4000 word Essay on the history of Management, including all of the new trends of systems, contingency, scientific, behavioral, political.

Kill me now please?

www.stick.com

If god played an instrument, it would be this.

Met this girl called Katie she's in my course, funniest Twin Ive ever met, she is my train buddy now but she's leaving me for performance *sighs* But! I still have a train buddy!

Home finally, it's the drugs I swear! I found out there is a bar with $2.50 scooners if James is working (I bargained a frequent visiting price with him) hope he is serious.....

ahem its across the road from AIM! God Bless.

Sanity

Tue, 08 Mar 2005 09:26:53 GMT

I don't know why....

Today was like when you take a wet bath (unlike the rare dry bath) and let it meet your friend Meister toaster.

My guitar spun, the air grew still, it arched backward through the train door, god cried out as I used what little being I had left to launch myself toward the doom struck piece of heaven, le Dinky. Kissing it frantically waving my hands in the air like a well trained mexican or there of, I realised the city is a harsh mistress. better served cold with a side of salad. or a buttered roll...

Just like that, with a short moment of discontent i was able to become happier. Bad things are happening all around us, people like Avril are getting in politics, and politicians into avril. Soon we will see some type of beat box, guitarist singer hybrid...

So anyway, in conclusion, conclusion...

Take care of yourselves, and eachother.

If anyone needs a big Brother.

ask me for my mobile number

I'm over here now.

Revel in the masterpiece.

Beware as this is my sanity muahaha. Ok say cheese.

Mon, 07 Mar 2005 10:19:05 GMT

Ive decided I'm skitzophrenic,

6 months now I will remain who I am now, to indulge my 2nd half.

Richs to Rags,

Time is cheap as talk is timed, for time is not worth compared to life.

A sentence I read inside my head, when I worked at the call center today.

Warning:

Mon, 07 Mar 2005 05:09:51 GMT

Note to self:

Do not confuse Thespian with Lesbian.

They came, I coughed, We Jammed.

Sun, 06 Mar 2005 07:04:00 GMT

Thus the first song was writen by the band "P.I.E is Excellent"

We like to Emo...

feel my sorrow
drown onto the world
you make me cry for seventeen hours a day

touch my face
the cold has set in now
drifting out far from your sweet embrace

DO NOT LEAVE ME
DROWNING IN THIS WORLD
THE WATER POOLING AROUND MY HEAD FILLS MY SENCES NOW

DROWNING SLOWLY
SAVE ME FROM MYSELF
SAVE ME ... save me now

:D

Sun, 06 Mar 2005 01:30:04 GMT

Ow, it's 12:26.

That dream was something else, I tell you...

Enter Jesus
Enter Jesus
Enter Jesus
Enter Joel

Joel: Ok... what?

Exuent Jesus
Exuent Jesus
Exuent Jesus

Maybe It's a sign...

Just one example of the events in my dream last night.

Then I decorated my arm....

Urge for breakfast, must... continue.... exploration..... of....... full....... stops........later.........